My Olympic Dream

By now, most of you have begun to realize that I have a lot of boyfriends: Taylor "Just Turned 18" Lautner, Jacoby Ellsbury, Albert Pujols, LeBron James, Johnny Depp, Jake Gyllenhaal, Clive Owen...just to name a few.

And now I've got to add one more: Aksel Lund Svindal, the Norweigian beefcake who just won gold in the Super G, whatever that is.

Feast your eyes on the loveliness:

So handsome!


Such nice teeth!


I hope our kids end up with his bone structure...


AAAAA!!! Who the EFF are YOU? GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND, YOU SKEEZY BIATCH!!!