Friday, March 1, 2013

March Sadness

I've been on a 30 Rock kick lately--the second greatest show on television after Arrested Development.

Last night I watched a particularly awesome scene, and I'm still laughing about it today. I tried to find the video, but could only find a sound clip. And after 20 frustrating minutes of trying to embed the link into my blog, I'm giving up and adding this montage that contains a portion of the scene in question. It's a conversation between Dr. Leo Spaceman, the quack physician who treats all of the 30 Rock characters, and Jenna Maroney, the starved-for-attention cast member of a SNL-esque comedy show. Jenna has come to consult Dr. Spaceman about her recent weight gain. (The scene begins at 00:40)




It ends with Dr. Spaceman telling Jenna, "Fortunately, there are solutions. Crystal meth has been shown to be very effective. How important is tooth retention to you?"

Last August, my friend Carrie and I got serious about eating right and exercising. We kept track of what we ate and we tried to incorporate some exercise into our sedentary lives. I lost 23 lbs! It was fabulous! I was so proud of myself! Then the holidays happened, and I started a vicious cycle of gaining 5 lbs and then losing it, gaining 8, losing 6, and on and on. I haven't stepped on a scale in a few weeks, and I don't intend to. I know I haven't regained the full 23, but I'm guessing I've regained a solid 10.

Long story short, I'm back on the wagon. I'm using the "Lose It" app on my phone to keep track of what I eat, how many calories I burn from the infrequent exercise I do, etc. Basically what I'm saying is that my life sucks right now, hence the title of this post. Carrie came up with a plan to keep us on track this time: if we go over our allotted calories one day, we have to be vegetarian for a week. If we go over a second time, we have to be vegan for a week. It may seem silly, but it's sure kept me honest thus far.

Because you know what, dear readers? After my dad passes away (may that day be in the far, far distant future) I am going on vacation to the Virgin Islands. I'm talkin' 'bout white sandy beaches, turquoise waters, and 5 stamps in my National Parks passport!

I'm goin' here:


And I'm goin' there lookin' like this:


OK, perhaps that's a bit ambitious. But you know... I just don't want to have to deal with people throwing water on me and trying to push me back into the ocean every time I lie out on the beach. Right now, I'm afraid that's where I'm at. I wonder how many Zumba classes it's gonna take to look like Jessica Alba. I probably don't want to know the answer.

So if anyone out there wants to join me in the Virgin Islands, let me know! I'm looking for a traveling companion!


3 comments:

Kam said...

Virgin Islands?? Wow. Sounds nice.

Good for you, about initially losing all that weight, and about being on the wagon. It's a hard wagon to jump on and off of, if ya know what I mean. But I'm sometimes on LoseIt. No wait. Nevermind. I'm on myfitnesspal... it's what Wade used. He's been on and off that wagon a lot lately, btw. My sis-in-law's on LoseIt. She lost 40 lbs. Anyway, I loved your 30Rock clip. I've never seen it, but it looks pretty funny!

Jeni said...

Um, me!! I want to join you in the Virgin Islands! I have a weight loss goal of 70 pounds to get back to where I was when I was a happy size 12-14. I've downloaded the Lose it app but now it just collects proverbial dust on my phone! My friend in Bama used it and had great success with it. Maybe I should try it too. I've cut waaaaaayyyy back on soda and since starting Zumba about three weeks ago, I've lost three pounds, so that's a start. Of course, I haven't stepped on the scaled after our weekend gorge-fest either....love and miss you already!

Unknown said...

Good blog.